life and death are wearing me out

Just waiting for the day I die

And my heart lets out its final sigh

Obliviated from the minds of Gods

Praying my conception eternally stops

There would be no death or born again

All the links of life forever slain

hoping this truly is liberation

For the shell of my being; its final cremation.

It all happened one day.
I saw an angel from heaven
Walk by the bay;

He sat on the bench-
just like a dream.
fallen from grace
no hopes to redeem

And though I reverently plead
Till my poor heart bled
He ripped out my soul
And left me for dead

disconnected distorted dillusions

Sitting on my perch way up high

On a tiny little star in the enormous sky

Observing humans blur the line

Between living a life or living a lie

A moment of realization

That the entire creation

Is complete fallacy

In God’s policy

They’re unaware of my existence

Hence without resistance

I fly away on my broom

To the dark side of the moon

Cynical? who me?

You Are 80% Cynical

You're a full blown cynic... and probably even skeptical of these results. You have your optimistic moments, but most likely you keep them to yourself.

How Cynical Are You?

Marijuana

Light burns me

Shadows taint me

It becomes hard to tell

If the world I live in…

Is heaven or hell

Should I follow the reaper or my dark dead heart?

Should I go with the angel to the light of my past?

It makes no difference, it’s all the same

I just waste away on my wall of shame.

I am aware of it now-

that hell is my nirvana ….

… my eternal marijuana

Mourn

old age mourns the loss of youth -
and youth; the loss of wisdom
wisdom mourns the loss of time -
and time; its never ending circle.

if time would freeze; then memories...
would be now and not the past
we'd be living them over and over
not sigh "they went by so fast"

Hurt

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

(Hurt- Johnny Cash)

my tears make the rain....

love and longing in Bombay

I am walking in my city. The island sleeps, and I can feel the jostling of its dreams. I know they are out there, Mahalaxmi, Mazagaon, Umerkhadi, Pydhuni, and the grand melodrama of Marine Drive. I have music in my head, the jingle of those old names, Wadala, Matunga, Koliwada, Sakinaka, and as I cross the causeway I can hear the steady eternal beat of the sea, and I am filled with a terrible longing. ... ... ...
... ... ...
...If we search together, I think, we may find in Andheri, in Bhuleshwar, perhaps not heaven, or its opposite, but only life itself.

-Vikram Chandra 'Love and Longing in Bombay'